Why Do People Exclude Others?

Remember the kid who was not invited to birthday parties at school? Or the colleague who was purposefully left out of a joint project group? Everyone can recall situations where people were excluded from group activities or ignored altogether. But have you ever wondered why those people were excluded?

Our research group investigates the reasons behind people's decisions to exclude others from groups. Based on previous research literature and our own studies, we identified two key motives:

• First, groups usually wish for harmonious relations between their members. Thus, group members that are prone to break rules and do not behave in line with the norms of the group are at a high risk of getting excluded.
• Second, to be efficient and to achieve their goals, group members who cannot keep up with the rest of the group are often perceived as expendable and excluded as well.

We conducted seven studies with more than 2000 participants. In one survey, we asked participants to recall and classify incidents in which they excluded or ignored another person. We found that almost two-thirds of the reported incidents were either due to that person being perceived as breaking essential norms or being perceived as expendable. Another survey looking at the perspective of the excluded confirmed our initial findings: people who reported higher tendencies for rule-breaking or feeling expendable for group success also reported higher frequencies of experienced exclusion.  

In further studies, we told participants that they would complete a group task together with other people, but that they could decide whether they wanted to exclude one of the potential group members prior to the task. Throughout all studies, we found that a large majority of participants indeed chose to exclude group members who had either been rude when introducing themselves, had acted uncooperatively in a previous game, or were lacking skills necessary for the upcoming group task.

Our findings might sound like bad news for people who occasionally tend to rub others the wrong way or struggle to keep up their performance. However, there's a silver lining: Rather than kicking out everybody who was different in some way, most participants in our studies chose to act strategically. People struggling with performance but who were very cooperative were excluded less when we highlighted the importance of cooperation for the upcoming task compared to when we emphasized performance. Conversely, less cooperative but high-performing individuals were excluded less when the task focused on performance rather than cooperation.

Social Exclusion in Groups is Not Inevitable

It can be addressed by tackling situational factors that foster exclusionary behavior in that specific setting: For instance, workplaces or schools with many external stress factors such as high time pressure or competition may breed social exclusion, as groups in those settings need to rely on high performance from all members. Reducing stress allows groups to support struggling members instead of excluding them. In contrast, social clubs, friend groups, or families valuing harmony and expecting everyone to comply with unwritten rules might need to recognize the benefits of constructive dissent and diverse opinions. That way, people who voice unpopular opinions or do not fit the norm are not at risk to be excluded due to minor disagreements.

Social exclusion is a frequent experience in an often competitive, stressful, and regulated world, but it does not have to be. Understanding the motives and reasons that foster social exclusion can help create more inclusive environments where everyone can thrive.

For Further Reading

Rudert, S. C., Möring, J. N. R., Kenntemich, C., & Büttner, C. M. (2023). When and why we ostracize others: Motivated social exclusion in group contexts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000423

Rudert, S. C., Keller, M., Hales, A. H., Walker, M., & Greifeneder, R. (2020). Who do we ostracize? A personality perspective on risk and protective factors of ostracism. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 118(6), 1247-1268. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000271

Rudert, S. C., Hales, A. H., & Büttner, C. M. (2021). Stay out of our office (vs. our pub): Target personality and situational context affect ostracism intentions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 95. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.104142

Selma C. Rudert is assistant professor for social psychology at RPTU Kaiserslautern-Landau (Germany) with a research focus on social exclusion, social norms, and moral judgment.

J.N. Rasmus Möring is a graduate student at RPTU Kaiserslautern-Landau with a research interest in social and political psychology.

Christoph Kenntemich is a PhD student at RPTU Kaiserslautern-Landau and studies the reasons for and the consequences of social exclusion.

Christiane M. Büttner is a PhD student at the University of Basel (Switzerland) and studies social exclusion experiences in everyday life.